Dating.

beetleginny well it wasn't a date till i realized half way through that it might be.
louobedlam suuuure
beetleginny no seriously. i was like halfway through dinner.
louobedlamand he's all, "so, we're gonna fuck, right?"
beetleginny that's what tipped it off.
louobedlam {chew chew}
louobedlam "right?"
louobedlam {takes sip of wine}
beetleginny and then I'm sitting there like this: O_o
louobedlam while he taps his fingers on the table, waiting for an answer
beetleginny all dates will eventually lead to me making this face O_o
beetleginny it's just the fact of the matter something always happens
louobedlam"and that's when i discovered my inner vagina"
beetleginny "and that was how i killed the 34 puppy" O_o
louobedlam "but i figured i'd keep it in a bottle afterwards. and now my skin is so clean, so shiny. you ever keep yours after you...ya know?" 0_o
beetleginny "and that's the reason why i got the tattoo of satan fucking a unicorn..." O_o
louobedlam"and...i know it's our first date, but i tattooed your name on my chest" O_o
beetleginny "and that's why I won't ever let you out of my sight... ... .. ever. " O_o
louobedlam"i just....i just think you smell so good i want to stuff you in my nostrils." O_o
beetleginny "and that's why I made a likeness of you composed entirely out of yr legshavings." O_o
louobedlam "and that's why i keep all my dead skin" O_o
beetleginny "and that's why I've never cut my pubic hair" o_O
louobedlam"i only gave the dog a blowjob, but people were still really pissed" O_o
beetleginny "and I carved my name in a place you couldn't see, so i don't know why she was that mad about it." o_O
louobedlam"so what if she's my aunt? it's just sex, it's not like i loved her" O_o
beetleginny "I don't see why more people don't try to give themselves oral, It's perfect, you know where your mouth has been and you know what you like!" O_o
louobedlam "i like to think of myself as Tri-Sexual" O_o
beetleginny "and so that's why I lose my temper like that when anyone even looks at a girl I"m out on a date with." O_o
louobedlam"i really think i can make it through tonight without coming." O_o
beetleginny (at dinner)
louobedlam"no, really, blood tastes better than you'd think." O_o
beetleginny "so that's why I keep all ejaculate in my freezer in the garage. and I carry one vial with me at all times." O_o
louobedlam "sometimes, late at night, my penis tells me things. about you." O_o
beetleginny "so listen that was really the reason I was outside yr bedroom window naked." O_O?
beetleginny "oh you didn't see me...." O_o !!!!!!!